Moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas, from Minneapolis, just a month ago and have devoted part of this time to observing the differences and oddities of my new home.

Besides the accent, I mean (“dubya-dubya-dubya dot fateville dot city dot US dot guv,” for example).

Besides the wonderfully undulating hills all around the city. And the hard clay and rock that undergirds the hills.

Besides the searing and nearly unbearable heat, with a heat index of 100 to 110 per day already in June.

Besides the friendly waves of the natives as they drive by. Or the instant conversations started up by strangers.

Besides the squashed armadillos on the roads — archaic armored creatures that look grotesque, dead or alive, and seem to have sprung up out of an ancient earth.

I mean the odd and different fact, primarily (for this writing anyway) of gorillas.

No, not real gorillas in the wild. (Armadillos are scary enough.)

Fake gorillas used in retail promotions, I mean. People who are paid to stand in this sweltering sun with a silly gorilla mask on their face, or a suit, to sell pizza or hair cuts or oil changes.

Geez!

The indignity of it!

A company called Gorilla Promotions does gorilla promotions, evidently

The manager of a local furniture store tells me these kinds of promos were very common in Florida, where he worked recently, because they were cheaper and more effective than newspaper ads. Instead of spending $4500 for a full page spread in the Tampa paper, for example, hire a troop of gorillas for $1500 — and get far better results.

But I find it hard to believe that these guerrilla/gorilla promotions could bring in that much cash. One local gorilla is pushing pizzas that sell for $5.99. That’s the claim on the window of the store, anyway. How many pizzas do you have to sell to pay this hairy oaf and realize a profit? How much residual good do these stunts create?

When you hear your belly gnawing, do you say to yourself, Oh, yeah, I want one of those cheap pizzas the gorilla is selling.

When you have a headache, do you think you’re going to turn to the pharmacy with the gorilla outside scratching his armpits?

When you need an oil change, do you look for the gorilla stand?

I’ll have to do some research on this rich topic — and get back to you on it.

In the meanwhile, if you have any knowledge or reaction, pipe up!