Archives for the month of: February, 2011

This is sad, friends, and true. I’m at an age where I read the obits for pleasure. (Thank God it was them, not me.) And look at the job ads, too, with wonder.

This morning I ran across one that, like so many others, seems to have been written by a robot.

Among other impossibilities, it called for an account executive who was “savvy, humble, and willing to commit.”

Isn’t this like asking for a 40-year-old virgin?

If you’re savvy, friend, you’re not going to be particularly humble.

And if you’re humble, you won’t be cunning and savvy.

That’s the nature of the beast.

But this bit of linguistic legerdemain is pretty common. It’s a bit you can find in all kinds of ads that ask for unique individuals who can think outside the box (including the box of cliches) — and be 100% team players (another cliche).

humble pie chart

We need to remind ourselves how humble we must be!

In the world of thinking outside the box, we don’t say we’ll think outside the box.

In the world of team playing, we do. (We say rah! rah! rah!)

So which box do they want — creative thinking or conformity?

And how far are they willing to accommodate really new ideas?

(Rodney King, beaten by the cops, might say, “Why can’t we all just get along?” And those who are beaten and cowed by the bosses might ask the same.)

I’m not making an argument for cat fights and sabotage. Rather, I’m suggesting that real creativity may come at the price of real 100% collaboration not to mention groupthink.

How can we have it both ways?

apostrophe misuse

People are so freaked out about apostrophes that they misuse them: here, just because a noun has a terminal -s, the writer adds an apostrophe! "No Dogs" is simply the subject of the sentence ... and "Guide Dogs" the object of the preposition except. What the heck is that comma doing in Toilets?

There’s been a heated discussion lately, in a LinkedIn group I belong to, about the fate of the apostrophe. As in people’s right to know, a dime’s worth, the Wentworths’ property taxes.

Other languages have the possessive case, of course, but don’t have the apostrophe. Is it an atavism, a useless carry-over from a fussier age, a tax that grammarians impose on the ignorant (as the lottery is a tax on the mathematically challenged)?

Yes and no, I think, to all the above.

The apostrophe originated in 18th century England, at a time when grammar and spelling were being standardized. The appearance of this mark, in fact, seems to be based on a false assumption. Anglo-Saxon, the language of early England, had no such mark, but simply added an -s to a word to indicate possession. (This is the same tactic that German uses today: der Mannes Hut [the man's hat], das Weibchens Dirndl [the woman's skirt]). But, for better or worse, for the time being, we are stuck with the apostrophe to indicate possession (as well as contraction), and to omit the apostrophe is to court a low opinion among grammarians and other careful literate folk.

And as long as we’re observing these sorts of things (are observant grammarians, like observant Jews, say — and belong to a conservative tradition), let’s rehearse the basic rules.

Possessive singular

  • To form the possessive singular of most nouns, simply add ‘s:
    • John’s hat
    • Mary’s blanket
    • the cat’s meow
  • If a noun ends in s or x or z, you can add just an apostrophe or the apostrophe plus s, depending on which sounds better or which is established usage:
    • Xerxes’ armies
    • jazz’s beginnings
    • asbestos’s dangers

Possessive plural

  • To form the possessive plural of regular nouns, which end in s, simply add the apostrophe:
    • the animals’ behavior [more than one animal]
    • the monsoons’ predicted course [more than one monsoon]
    • the foundations’ pleas [more than one foundation is pleading]
    • the Joneses’ absurd pretenses
    • the Swansons’ property rights
  • To form the possessive plural of irregular nouns, those not ending in s, add the apostrophe plus s:
    • the men’s demands
    • the women’s taste in fashion
    • the children’s story hour

Questions, comments? Please ask or comment below.